Happy Birthday, Joseph Alvaro McNiff

Joseph Alvaro

19 Years · CS · Mathematics · Classics · Class of '29

Key Articles

BaseballShohei Ohtani and the Future of the Game NationalsWashington Nationals — Standings, Schedule, and Rebuild Watch ColumbiaColumbia University — Tradition, Ambition, and New York

Key Links

MLB.com MTA Subway Columbia Spectator masstimes.org LEGO.com

A note from your godfather

You're 19, studying CS at Columbia University.
Somewhere out there, a normal teenager
is having fun for you.

Columbia: Nobel laureates, ivy walls, world-class faculty —
and a protest blocking the dining hall.
The perfect place to never leave the library.

I tried to Venmo you birthday money.
Your phone auto-replied:
"Request received. Saving indefinitely."

The Nationals are talented, exciting, and going to figure it out.
Just maybe not this week.
Stick with them. They're worth it.

NL East Standings · April 27, 2026

Team	W	L	PCT
Atlanta Braves	20	9	.690
Miami Marlins	13	15	.464
★ Washington Nationals	13	16	.448
New York Mets	9	19	.321
Philadelphia Phillies	9	19	.321

Remember 2019. They were 19–31. They won the World Series.

270 Park Avenue · JPMorgan Chase HQ

The Eye of Sauron,
watching over Midtown.
And your GPA.

Washington Nationals Win Rate vs. Joseph's GPA

Grades 3–12 (2015–2024) · Red = Nats Win % · Blue = GPA (normalized)

Nats Win %

Joseph GPA (÷4 = 1.0)

World Series · Asterisk

⭐ Grade 7 · 2019 — Washington Nationals win the World Series

† 2019 low point — The Nats were 19–31 on May 23, twelve games under .500. They went on to win it all. The "19–31" t-shirts became legendary.

* Second Semester · Senior Year · AP Latin — A−. Extenuating circumstances. Godfather not worried.

Free Grocery Stores — NYC

Mamdani's promise to your block.
Still waiting.

New York City: where the mayor promises free groceries, the Eye of Sauron watches from Midtown, and the library is always open. You are exactly where you belong, Joseph.